We did it

I could not sleep last night. I was so nervous about dropping her off at day care, about going back to work. We survived our first day... I woke up early , got her ready, got ready myself, fed her... all with a lump on my throat. I wanted to cry, but I contained my tears because I want to pass to her the confidence that everything will be okay. So off we went, 7:30 we we there, the caregiver was waiting for us. Lyla was awake and on her best behavior, smiling, just happy. I brought all her stuff in, went over again all we talked about before: she eats 5 oz, she needs to be burped in between, she sleeps on her back, she likes the swing, she likes the pacifier... She was getting sleepy so I decided to put her on the crib and wait until she fall asleep. In 2 mim she was sleeping peacefully. I kissed her good buy, reassured her that Dad would be back to pick her up ;ater, that we love her (I know, I know, she does not understand it). I was at the door , but I had to go back to give her another kiss. Mrs. M told me to feel free to call whenever ( I am glad she said that). I cried a little on my way to work but overall I felt good. Work was busy, I was glad to be back but I could not stop thinking about her. I restrained from calling until nap time. I called and Mrs. M said she was very impressed, Lyla was a great baby. She slept for 1 hour after I left , woke up happy, had her bottle , stayed awake for a while on the swing and she was napping when I called. DH picked her up at 3 pm and 6 pm I was home... I kissed her so much, hugged her and got "drunk" with her baby smell.
I hope that tomorrow goes well again. I already picked up her outfit for tomorrow, packed her bag. She is now peacefully sleeping. I am tired, but happy.


My little girl is 3 months today

Pic of her in the morning


bath time tonight

a new reality

Tomorrow is a new day for Lyla and I. I'll go back to work (after being home 1 month due to visa issues) and Lyla will have her first day at daycare. I have been dreading this day and tomorrow it will happen. At 4 weeks I went back to work, but my mom was with her, in our house, with her stuff (and that was hard). Than I worked 4 more weeks, DH stayed with her for another week and I stayed home the last 4 weeks. She has been home for 13 weeks. We are finally establishing a routine, now she has to get use to a new reality. I chose the home daycare very carefully, I know that person that will be caring for her, I trust her, nonetheless every time I look at Lyla today I want to cry. I know in my heart she will be okay, but I also know that nobody will take care of her the way I do. I tried to prepare her during this month. She learned to put herself to sleep for her naps, I did not hold her every time she cried, I let her play alone for a awhile... It will be difficult being at work not knowing what she is doing, having somebody else take care o her, enjoy her smile. DH will take off from work early so she will not stay there all day long. On the other hand, I like working, I enjoy intellectual adult conversations and I do need to work in order to provide for her. At the end, it is a good thing that I am going back tomorrow. I am eager to get into this routine. DH will drop her off everyday (except tomorrow) and I'll pick her up. Thank God it is going to be a shorter week. I hope it all goes okay. I am really anxious.
Tomorrow Lyla will be 3 months... I can;t believe it. She is full of personality and has a smile that melts my heart.

_

better late than never

My visa was approved today, I am so relieved... I woke up today and I said : God today is a great day for a miracle... and when I got my e-mail , there is was, my approval notice. PRAISE GOD! I hope you get a miracle today as well

I'll going to my work to start the process of being re hired, Lyla should start day care Monday. I cried of happiness that I got my visa, but I also cried realizing that will spend all day together anymore.
Thank you all for your support

My smart girl

Lyla's video
She loves playing with balloons...

Father's day

yesterday it was a great day. Lyla and I prepared all kinds of surprises for the new Dad. He loved every minute of it. I think that the initial stress of having a newborn is calming down and DH and I are reconnecting and enjoying this new phase of our lives.

my little family that I am so proud of







As one of the gifts he asked to sleep 8 hours. So, Lyla and I stayed on our room and he slept like a "baby" on Lyla's room. He said it was the best gift ever...
He is so in love with her. Looking at them interacting makes me so happy and love him even more





DH and his brother and their little girls. Lyla 92 months) and her cousin Amanda(8 months)



Since we are already on the topic of sleep... my little girl is a terrible sleeper. She still naps a lot during the day and as results at night she doesn't sleep well. Her bad time is 11 pm/ I do all the bed time routine and still she does not go down.She has a rock and roll life sttayle like her father LOL. She wakes up at least 3-4 times during the night. The problem is that she will not eat a full feeding at once (she is a snack er) and than she gets hungry every 2 hours of so. It is exhausting... The good thing is that she does not cry much, she is a happy baby even at the night. The lack of sleep is taking a tool on me, my skin is terrible, I look like a teenager. I am actually gaining weight because of the stress and also because of my late nigh snacks. I look a pic of myself from yesterday and I don't know that woman. I have to get a grip and take care of myself.


Being home with Lyla full time has been just fantastic but I have to admit that I need to work. I like working (just don;t like the long hours) and in an ideal world I would love to work part time.

Another week at home, still no visa... Hopefully this week

I'll leave you with one of my fav pics . She was smiling at me

I got sunshine in a cloudy day...

I am still waiting on my visa...Meanwhile I am enjoying being a full time mommy...

In the mist of so much confusion she makes my day brighter and happier.








How can I resist this smile????

More stress

Since some people that I know IRL may read this blog I chose to delete the previous 2 posts. Thank you so much for all the support.

Now on to more stress...
As most of you know I am not an American and I am here in a student visa. My student visa expired may 31st and my work visa (that I applied 4 months ago) is still pending. As a result my position was terminated and I can't no longer work until my paperwork arrives. The good thing of it is that I am having the opportunity to stay home with my daughter and also have some time to digest everything that is going on in my life. On the other hand, because my position was terminated I have 60 days to start working again otherwise I will be considered illegal here. In addition, all my benefits were canceled including health insurance. My university cancelled my e-mail account without notice only 2 days after I was "terminated" and I lost all my contacts and some very import e-mails. I can't even go to the university... and the immigartion will not even look into my case (just 30 days after the predicted processing time - June 23rd). I've been in this country for 8 years, had all my education paid by a American university, I've paid taxes, never been in trouble with the law, and yet I am mistreated over and over again.I am tired of it. Please, keep me on your thoughts and prayers that my visa may arrive soon.

Thanks