first comes love...

then marriage, (infertility) then baby, (infidelity) then divorce... healing and then its time to date again ( i know you were dying to know lol)

Last time I went on dates it was mid 90's and I was a teenager!!! Let me tell you my friends, things have certainly changed! Post divorce dating has been interesting to say the least. Texting seems to be the away of communicating these days. First I hated it, but I got used to it, and it is very convenient I guess. So first step was to upgrade my plan to "unlimited text". I prefer a good old fashion phone call, but most people just cant handle in! LOL. Oh the awkward blind dates! Oh boy, I have stories to tell. Coffee dates, drink dates, dinner dates, even ice cream dates! A few hits but mostly just a learning experience ! By that I mean that you learn about what you absolutely don't want and cant stand! I am lucky that I can talk even with a chair, so I have never had the problem of not being able to start a conversation. I was reading "life from scratch" by Melissa Ford (Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters
) and she was narrating the main's character first ever date post divorce... I smiled reading it, I remember my very first date ever post divorced (Melissa you are such a good writer!) ... we actually became friends. One of these blind dates became a "summer fling" last year , the very first guyfriend post divorce. Well, it did not work out. Another learning experience I guess! It takes confidence to survive this dating world nowadays my friends. I glad that I have that. I was only ready to date again when I knew I was not desperate for company or too vulnerable to settle for the first that showed me affection. I miss the life as a couple, but I have "mastered" the art of being single (well some days I have pity parties over being so lonely). I am okay with my own company... I can find things to do, places to go, even if when there is nobody to share with.
There are days that I feel that I have multiple personalities... Yesterday: (my first night without her after her dad is back from a one month long vacation): The day starts trying to convince a very stubborn little girl to take off her PJs and get dressed for day care (mommy mode)... after a few tantrums we make to day care and I off to work worrying about upcoming deadline, an important meeting, how to deal with the never ending requests from my boss (career woman mode). Middle of the day get a text from ex about the night's schedule and what time he will pick up Lyla (ex wife mode)... back to work (career woman mode), call doc's office to schedule Lyla next well appt (mommy mode). Late afternoon potential date sends me a text to arrange final details where and what time to meet (dating mode), work day is over, a quick trip to the grocery store (domestic mode), call mom to see how she is doing (daughter mode), run home and struggle over what to wear for the date (date mode).... get ready and on the way call to check on Lyla, we talk for a little(mommy mode), talk to the ex about what she should wear the next day to the daycare what she is having for dinner so on (mommy/ex wife mode)... arrive on a very trendy restaurant (date mode)... mid dinner get a text from ex that Lyla is having a tummy ache (mommy mode). I excuse myself and call ex (Lyla was fine) and come back just on time for another glass of wine... Get home ,call my girlfriend about the date. unload the dish washer (domestic mode) and change into workout clothes ... 10 pm and I am exercising on my living room (me mode). And the very next day I have some me time before work, work work work... and go get my princess for the best date night ever at chic fil a ( my happiest mode!).
I never thought that it would be my life , but it is and its growing on me!

Busy

To say that I've been busy late;y is a understatement . Lyla's father has been in Brazil for vacation for almost one month now. It is just her and I , this crazy weather and super busy work schedule. Boy, single motherhood is not for the faint of heart. I've been feeling really tired and dizzy, it turns out i have a mild case of vertigo. I blacked out the other day, I;ve been super stressed out about happening again when I am alone with Lyla. I am on medication, I feel much much better. Toddler girl went crazy on me for 2 weeks or so, the tantrums were driving crazy, no for everything and to changer clothes was an epic war... thankfully we both have adjusted, I am learning how to deal with this new phase and she has calmed down a little . I am glad that her dad will be back in one week, I need to sleep . I am thankful for all the help Ive been getting from my friends. My friend M brought me food for one week, I did not have to cook, one less thing to worry. C and N took care of Lyla for an entire day so I could go to a conference. L my best friend is always giving moral support. L and W come over to play with Lyla .Lyla has been missing dad a lot, but doing great now that she has only one routine to follow, She tell em me that she loves me all the time, potty training seems to be coming finally to an end, big girls bed its a hit....
To all the single moms out there. you guys rock. I hope you can get as much help and I do. Don't be afraid to ask!


To all the moms out there, you guys rock too! I hope 2011 is treating you well


I will leave you with some cute pics of Lyla having fun with teh snow!

2011 Blog Delurking week : "Say what you need to say"

Its International Blog Delurking Week and I would love to hear from you !!!!!
Just say hi to your blogger friend and will make me smile!
I would love to get to know you better as well!

Thanks for all my sweet blogger friends that have been with for such a long time. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!


"You better know that in the end, It's better to say too much, than to never to say what you need to say" so...."Say what you need to say"!!!

Wordless Wednesday: New Years Queens!