2 months

I can't believe it, my baby girl is 2 months today. She is 11 lb 13 oz (75%) up from 7 lbs 2oz at birth and 22 1/4" (50%) up from 17 1/2" at birth. As you can she she is growing and thriving and I am so happy!. We had a rough night because due to her immunizations she had a mild fever but today she okay. DH took her to her appointment and he said he cried when she had the 3 shots.

Happy birthday my sweet baby! We love you so much

Helping to create a new day

Please go over Allison and help her "create a new day".
Busted had this post today I want to help her to spread the message.

She wrote:
"In a tragedy that is all too familiar to us, Allison lost her twins, Lennox and Zoe, to prematurity. They were born just a few days older than our Doodles, and sweet Zoe lived for 3 weeks. Unfortunately, wordpress, the site Allison uses for her blogs, tracks her "best day ever" - the post with the most hits. As I'm sure you can guess, currently her "best day ever" on both blogs is the day Zoe died.

So, on May 29, 2008, we are trying to get as many people as possible to click on Allison's blogs and create a new "best day ever" - hence the title, "A New Day". Thanks"

Stay home Dad

Since I have to work and I could only take 4 weeks of maternity leave and my mom had to go back to Brazil earlier than e expected, my husband took paternity leave for 2 weeks. That is a big deal in so many ways… first it still amazes me that is my life, that I have a baby. After waiting for her for so long, it seems still unreal that we are parents. Second, before Lyla DH did not know even how to hold a baby… now he is taking care of her full time!!!!!! I left home today and they were both sleeping and I felt a little jealous that I was not the one staying. On the other hand it will be great for them to spend this time bonding and getting to know each other better. The fun already begun, today he changed his first poppy diaper ever! He was gagging so badly when he talked with me on the phone while changing her and I was laughing so hard… juts priceless. He called me to ask if a green poop is okay or she is sick ! LOL. He is so gentle with her and I pretty sure I lost the spot the number one girl on his life. Tomorrow he will bring her to my work during lunch time and Thursday he will take her to her 2 month appointment … I am sure that he will do so great. We are both learning how to be Lyla’s parents, and for that I am forever grateful … one year ago I could never see this coming, it seemed like a impossible dream, and now here we are. God is good! I pray that all of you can be given this opportunity


I am really enjoying the many comments from Nacomleavmo and I am enjoying even more getting to know so many different blog sisters!!

HAVING FUN

I AM SO IN LOVE... Lyla and I had so much fun this weekend. I took Friday off to have 4 days with her, now I dont want to go back to work. She went to her first bday and graduation party this weekend... a perfect opportunity to play dress up!here so pics of our weekend. She is 8 weeks old and 11 lbs a 4 oz

almost forgot, last Thursday was my 2 years anniversary of bloging...needless to say that I am in a much happier place today... I am so thankful

The good and the bad

GOOD:
Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. Dad is doing much better, they did an Angioplasty and Stenting procedure. They found a blockage that they think was corrected by the procedure so he will not have to have open heart surgery. I am feeling much much better but still very stressed out. Mom is leaving tomorrow morning , she can;t wait to see my dad. I cried on my way to work today thinking of what I will do without her. I'll miss her so much. She has been a great help, I could not have done it without her. Now I'll have to manage Lyla, the house, a demanding boss all by myself. I feel so unprepared. I dont want Lyla do go to daycare before her 2 months vaccines , so Dh and I will take 1/2 days off (I'll work in the mornings and dh the afternoons) for 2 weeks and dh will take one extra week off.
BAD
Today I also got terrible news, my good friend that got pregnant after years of infertility lost her baby at 11 weeks. They did not find a heartbeat. I am devastated for her... I know this pain all too well. Her name is Virginia, please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

I can't believe it...

My dad had a heart attack in Brazil. He is okay for now, is under observation at the hospital while they decide what to do. Maybe heart surgery still this week. My dad never had heart problem, he is young and fit. My mom (and I) is going crazy here being so far away. I could only find a ticket for her for Tuesday. I can't leave the country because my visa has not arrived yet, If I leave I will not come back, ina ddition Lyla does not have her passports... Doc said that Lyla can't go to day care until she takes her first vaccines in 3 more weeks. Life can go from normal to crazy in a heartbeat... I am so worried about my dad, I'll miss my mom so much... I ma not ready to let her go just yet. Please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers
Thanks

Dreams do come true, keep on hoping

Last year I was feeling very hopeless. I have no IF coverage, no diagnosis, no hope for a baby any time soon. However, I made a conscious decision to hold on to hope.
I wrote this post based on this pillow that I bought, hoping that one day it would decorate my baby's nursery
"I bought this last month, It will someday be on my baby's crib as a reminder of how long I hoped to see him/her sleeping peacefully and what a blessing that day will be!"




A few days after writing this post I got my unexpected BFP... I wrote this post , called HOPE IS BACK... and for 8 months I hoped for a healthy baby


My dream did come true







After it decorated my baby'r room for 6 weeks I decided that was time to send it to somebody that I really admire and I hope that she gets a BFP soon. Now the pillow is at JJ


I hope that she gets what she HOPES for and may it serve a reminder that dreams do come true. I hope that soon you can pass it on to the next person that can use some hope... than we will have the sisterhood of the traveling hope!!!!

Hope is the eternal well from which life springs.
Hope is the promise of all good things."


Keep on believing my friends, your day will come

She is all I wanted for Mother's day

And I also got the best news ever: her hips were fine (PRAISE THE LORD!!) , the u/s today went very well, no dysplasia , hips are stable... we will be back in 4 months for an x-ray as a follow up and that is it!

I AM SO THANKFUL...

Waiting for the Moon

I read this at apronstrings' blog. Just so beautiful!
That is how I feel about mother's day, I did not forget the pain, but my heart has been healed (not completely yet)by my daughter. I hope that all of you that so familiar with the pain can someday experience the healing. I'll be thinking about you this weekend
Waiting for the Moon

My friend called today

tears in her voice

Her period started

and her dreams for a new baby are postponed

yet another month.


I hold my infant to my breast

eager mouth tugging and pulling

little hands patting and stroking.


My eyes well up with tears.


How many days turned to months turned to years

did I kneel and weep

pressing my hands to my empty womb

rocking on my heels

pleading with cruel fate

"send me a living child?"


My womb wept bright blood tears

as I felt my youth slip away

moon after moon

cycle after cycle

month after month

year after long year


My grief was indescribable

unendurable

mourning a child not yet conceived

only wished for, dreamed of, prayed for.

And then later, mourning the children conceived

but lost in pain and blood and tears.


Moon months, cycle songs, lovemaking, babylonging.

These are the things that defined my young womanhood.

eight years of eternal emptiness

years defined by the Moon


By blood


By hope and by tears.

II

I have not missed those cycles

the moon rising within

the blood that defined my loss and failure.


My life has now become an hourly measure

and rather than by a lunar month

I am

defined by nursing

by a small demanding mouth

by the fullness of my breast

by rich sweet milk that drips from me

and flows life and love to my child.


I will not (cannot) forget, though,

the years my womb wept blood tears,

the months the shards

of grief began as my period started...

Lactating now, my body moves to another vision

another Time.


The moon tides no longer control me

I am bound to the Earth, to the small body

of another, to a warm mouth in the night that nuzzles

and seeks and heals my tattered soul

and pieces my heart together.


Pergonal and modern medicine gave me a child,

but the child at my breast Healed my infertility.


by Kathryn Miller Ridiman

first published in Midwifery Tod

I am at work now, but I miss her so much. that hurts

At least I know that I have her to come home to... for that I count my blessings

1 month old

Lyla is one month old , I can’t believe. She is doing great: she is taking formula well (I am still breastfeeding, but supplementing due to short supply). She is now 8lbs 14oz – 50% (up from 6 lb 11oz two weeks ago) and 20 inches 15% (up from 17 1/5” at birth) . Doc was really pleased with her progress. We now just have to work on her sleeping skills. She is still sleeping more during the day and awake during the night. It is exhausting!!! During the first weeks I did not feel as much the sleep deprivation. My mom would let me sleep in the morning form 5 am to 11 am (how awesome is that?) . Now that I am back to work I don’t have that and the lack of sleep is taking a tool on me. I had a terrible week at work, first I am so tired and I can’t concentrate, second I miss my baby so much it hurts, third, by boss is being a really pain in the a$$ (more on that later). I actually like working and I would love do it part time and spent more time with my baby…. But right now I feel that I went back to soon, I am not ready. Unfortunately I had no option. At least I have the peace of mind that she is with my mom

I also saw my doc yesterday, everything looks well and I can resume my normal life including S.E.X (Dh was very happy to hear that). We also decided that I will start birth control next Sunday (how weird is that??? ). I still have 5 pounds left to reach my prep pregnancy weight and at least 20 pounds to reach an ideal weight. I have to stop eating like a pregnant woman and try to get in shape.


Lyla has an appoint with ortho May 15th for her hip u/s. Hopefully all will be fine. Here is a pic from yesterday celebration. We had some ice cream cake to celebrate Lyla’s first month!!!!


Thank God tomorrow is Friday... what a week!!!!!!!