Blessed

For one second today I felt sorry for myself, felt bad for being alone, for no mother's day gift or even the words HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY (I know she would say it if she could)... it lasted one second and then she woke up with the brightest smile. I remember waking up on mother's day with my empty arms aching, a heavy heart longing to be a mother, a broken soul from all the fight ... everything else felt so small and insignificant and I felt grateful , overcome by love for my little girl. We had breakfast together, the best kind: fruit loops... and went on with our day, the same old routine that some days feel a little overwhelming. But today I felt grateful doing each one of them. I thought about my friends still aching and longing and I said a prayer for all of you. I thought about other single moms, about all of you wonderful mothers that I've met through my blog. I felt honored to know all of you, to be able to hear about how awesome and adorable your kids are. I sat in church with Lyla, I looked around and we were the only duo, it was family day. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I felt proud, blessed, grateful yet again. I felt her weight on my arms and I prayed that God keeps giving me strength and wisdom to raise this little girl, that I can keep providing to her, giving unconditional love. I thanked God that His promise came ture. I sang the song that said: Strengh will raise as we wait upon the Lord. It is so true, I am felling stonger and very sure that I am so blessed

PS: I did get a mother's day gift and a beautiful card later in the day

Radom

-2 days after Lyla's book arrived my computer crashed. I have most of the files backed up but I would have lost her book if I hadn't ordered it early. Imagine that????? Now it is saved on the company's website and I can order more
- SO now my budget for my mother's gift (a new camera) needs to be reallocated to buy a computer. Bummer.
- Mother's day as a single mother with no family close by can be hard. But she is all I need. I will treat myself with a relaxing pedicure though. The time will come that she will say HAPPY MAMA'S DAY. I can't wait
- I am going to be an aunt times two. My sister is expecting a boy for Sept and my brother's girlfriend just found out that she is pregnant. I am super excited
- I will miss his wedding and I have no idea when I will get to meet my nephews or nephew niece. I am bummed.
- Lyla has been in great mood lately. Silly mood , just like her old self. Knock on wood, but it looks like that she is having less and less tantrums
- I feel good, not like my old self, but a brand new self!!!!! we keep evolving, that is how it goes.
-I've lost 7 pounds . Serenity really inspired me!
- She is 25 months now . I know, I know I should stop counting the months
- We are both loving the new day care. She is learning so much
- Her vocabulary is expanding faster than I can keep track of the new words and even sentences. On a recent trip to the supermarket , she was just pointing and saying the words of everything she saw. Just amazing!!!!!! She says, go way lyla mama when I keep holding and kissing her. So cute. She sings most of the songs from her kindermusik class and from the fresh beat bands. On her report card from school it always says: talkative!!! Just like her mother LOL
- her favorite color is blue
- Favorite food still rice, beans and corn
- Potty training has been put on hold
- She is crazy in love with her dog Neil. today I said: lyla look your NEW shoes. She said, no NEIL shoes, Lyla shoes. LOL
- She still is daddy's girl
- Her dad and I seem to have learned how to co exist and focus on her. I am happy with all the effort , dedication and love he gives her. That is all I want.
- we are loving the great weather
- Life is good. Still complicated, but good

Here are some pics we took yesterday







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