Waiting, worrying and surrendering...

Life has been very stressful lately. Still waiting to see what it will happen with Lyla's dad's visa. While we wait and he is not working, he is staying with her part time during the week now. She is having a blast with him and I like that. I am limbo and can just pray and wait... seems to be the theme of my life the past 5 years. I feel so tied up and the more I struggle to break free the worst it gets. So I've learn to stay still and accept yet again whatever will happen I will have to just find a way to deal with. Not an easy thing my friends. Not an easy thing.
When I have time I just get my camera and go in a search of a good picture. It helps me to focus on something else, it relaxes me... last saturday night I was able to capture the modt gorgeous sunset ...
I just wanna share with you guys

We love October!!!!!!!!

Gone too soon

It was an ordinary busy weekend until I got a phone call early afternoon Sunday. my sister called and by her voice I could immediately tell something was wrong, very wrong. She told me that my 29 year old cousin, father of three young children was killed in a motorcycle accident early morning. I come from a huge family, my cousins and I were raised together like brothers and sisters. Losing him is almost like losing a brother for me. He was the 4th oldest grandchild out of 30+, I am the second oldest . Last time I went home our kids played together, his youngest was born a few days before Lyla. I keep calling my grandma's house, where everybody is now and on the other line I hear despair, disbelief , sobbing all over. His parents are in shock . I spoke with my uncle , I hadn't cried until then... he cried that soft,painful cry and told me: I hope you never never feel this pain I am feeling now. I lost it, We cried together. For a second i put myself in his shoes and just the thought of losing a child made my head spin and my heart break in tiny little pieces for him. Please pray for my family, and especially for his little ones. They are scared, they can;t understand completely what is going on.... His wife has such a hard job ahead of her. They have 2 children together ages 2 1/2 and 4, the other son is from a previous marriage.

Rest in peace my dear cousin, I am so terribly sorry that you had to go so soon, in such tragic way. You will be missed by many especially your sons


Days like days make my problems so small ... I am alive and able and my daughter is okay, the rest will fall into place

Resilience

The day I read on the news that 33 Chilean miners were trapped and rescue was still at least 3 months away , I could not phantom how they would survive for so long under such harsh conditions. The days passed and I read how they kept on surviving, reorganizing, creating their micro society, new roles emerged as people worked hard above trying to set them free. Their resilience strong spirit, and positive attitude were such an inspiration. As I sit here at home minutes away from seeing the first miner to be rescued 69 days after they were found alive... I can't help but think about how resilient we all can be when put through trials. We survive, adapt, create new routines, find a new normal until rescue comes our way. Surely we can't do it alone, but it does not matter how much work is being done "up above", how many people are trying to help if a decision to keep on fighting is not made when crises first emerges and keep hoping and trusting just like they did. I praise these 33 men that fought a great fight and today emerge for a deep hole as forever changed men.
I am by no means comparing my fight with theirs , but I do know a thing or two about adapting, reorganizing, creating a new routine ... finding a small place where I feel safe when everything else seemed to have exploded around me . it is amazing how we are all very strong when we need to be!


I heard a quote that said: "if you are going through hell, keep on walking" eventually this too shall pass and better days are just in the horizon

Thoughtful Tuesday: thankful to be reminded that dreams do come true and prayers are answered... in due time

I was going through some old pics and I found this one. It was taken June 2007. I wrote these words in the sand in Miani with a heart aching and empty arms longing for a child. It seemed like an impossible dream at time, like a prayer that was never answered.




I had no idea that 2 months later I would see the two pink lines and less than one year later my arms would no longer be empty!!!! She is the joy of my life, look at her!


Some days when I feel really discouraged and heartbroken I look at Lyla and I am reminded that my prayers from today will also be answered in due time. One day I will look at my life and be reminded of the many many wishes written in sand that at the time seemed so distant and so impossible but just when I thought I couldn't wait any longer... may wait will be over !

If you feel discouraged today like I do. Look at something or somebody that reminds you that dreams do come true and that prayers are answered... sometimes not necessarily the way you have imagined or at the time you want it but eventually we will find a place of contentment or we might even be surprised with something that we could not even have imagined. BEYOND OUR WILDEST DREAMS!! Today I am grateful for what I have and hopeful for all the things I still dream of!

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29 ; 11-13