I remember turning 25 and feeling content, I had everything I wanted at that moment. I still had many goals but I had met my goals for that age.
After Lyla was born I felt that same feeling again... pure contentment! After a long journey I had the family I've longed for.
Since then I had engraved in my mind the notion that being content meant being happy because I have everything I want.
More and more I realize that contentment is rather the opposite; it is being happy despite not having everything you so deeply long for. It is acknowledging our "wants" and "needs" without losing site of the treasures we already have. It is realizing that what we have now, one day was on top of our list of "must have", the "only" thing we really needed to be happy back then! t
I still want so much, don't we all? I just don't want the "wanting" and "needing" to shape my life. I am throwing out the window the notion that I am one goal away from my "ideal life" ... what if while I dream and cry over it , my "real life" is passing by and I am too busy idealizing a perfect picture? I don't want this regret!
1 comment:
This is something I'm working with my therapist over. I always thought that happiness was something it really isn't - some ideal I'll never attain.
Instead, I have moments like you: where I'm realizing it's seeing the happy in the here and now. Where it ebbs and flows, but it's overall good.
I wish I knew how to let go of the regrets though. I expect it takes time and distance.
You know you're my inspiration, right?
xoxo
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