Tuesday, March 16, 2010
puppy love
Lyla's daddy got her a puppy for her birthday. He is as cute as cute can be, she is more happy than happy can be. I am happy for her too. Happy that her dad did such a nice thing for her. Her dog will live with dad, she will only see him when she is over there... that is when my irrational brain starts to work... How am I going to 'compete" with a puppy??? What if she says that she does not want me? my house is not as fun? I had a bad night last night , feeling pathetic and alone .... I called to see how she was doing and she was in heaven with her new doggy friend. So cute! I listened to her playing with him for a awhile. I wish I could have seen it, i wish I could be there when she met her very first dog... I was not invited . Things like that leave me with a lump on my throat a very angry that has to be like that (even though I've accept the situation and moved on). I am silly like that. I will always mourn that little family of my dreams: with parents that love each other, a little puppy and a gorgeous little girl delighted to have a dog to call her own. But is not about me,I can work on these silly feelings on mine... as long as she is okay, i will be okay . After all, puppy can cover sometimes to visit.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
I'm sorry you are struggling with the puppy issue which actually runs much deeper than just the puppy. It is hard to think about the things the kids will like better about the other parent or their house. No matter what Lyla loves you and nothing can compare to a mother's love. Hang in there!
Those are not silly feelings at all. I'm so sorry that the experience of a new puppy didn't include you too.
A mother's love beats out puppy love any time!
xoxo
Sorry that you can't be there for all the moments.
Sorry that even a happy thing like a puppy can be changed with divorce and separation.
But, you will always be her mommy!
So sorry that you felt left out. It is completely normal and even though you've accepted the situation and moved on, it doesn't mean you don't have feelings. Ryan has been home every day with Claire the past few months after being laid off from work, and the bond that they have sometimes makes me sad. I feel left out and a little spiteful that I don't get to spend my days with her too. But at the end of the night there's always room for mama in her heart and the same goes for Lyla too. There's a bond that a mom and daughter have that can NEVER be broken. HUGS to you ( :
i think your feelings are perfectly normal, and i agree that mama's love trumps puppy's love ANY day. hang in there, mama.
Oh! You know, as soon as you said that about the puppy, I thought gosh, imagine trying to compete with that. So obviously, your thoughts are very normal! And also, of course, at the same time, very silly, because you will always be more than a puppy to Lyla.
Maybe Dad is feeling a bit insecure, too, hence the puppy?
Bea
Post a Comment