One of the hardest things for women TTC, at least for me, is the realization that even though for us it seems like time stood still, as we look back we see that the wheels keep on turning and we are still childless.
After the excitement of last week things have calmed down and I’ve been confronted with the same old feeling of emptiness and the realization that I would trade my PhD title for a mommy title in a second. I took an inventory on everything that have happened since I started TTC, and even though most of the things that happened were very exciting, I couldn’t help and fell stuck in TTC land… It is like that U2 song: Stuck in a moment, and I can get out of it!
Since I started TTC (March 2005)…
- I got my Masters and PhD in pharmacology and Toxicology
- DH also graduated
- My sister lost her husband is a tragic motorcycle accident
- Sister remarried ( I am very happy about it)
- My SIL announced 2 pregnancies, first baby (my niece S) is already 18 months old and SIL is now 20 weeks PG with the her third baby
- My nephew (C) learned how to read!
- I can’t even count how many women I know have announced their PG, had their babies and are either plan number # or are already expecting. Not counting all the celebrities! PG bellies are everywhere
- I got PG once, but M/C
- Still no diagnosis
- The last one came as a shock today … one of my friends from work called me despaired today in the morning. She is PG and she is not sure if she is ready to keep it or not! 2 years ago, she was single, did not even think about getting married and the word “kids” was not even in her vocabulary. She got married 2 MONTHS AGO !!!!! I am trying to be strong and supportive but I can’t help it and be sad and cry. It is just too hard !!!!!!!!!!!!
- The important thing though is that I am not even close to give up. I am still hopeful and still believe that I will be a mom! So I wait…
The good news is that now that I finished up my thesis, defended and passed, my mind is free to concentrate 100% on TTC. I am back!
As a Final note: My heart and prayers go out to the families and friends of those who lost their lives yesterday in the tragic event at Virginia Tech! I am so sorry.
7 comments:
Wow there has been a lot going on for you since March 2005! Lots good...some sad. It is amazing all the things that happen as time pass...glad you have such a GREAT attitude! Ill be checking in on ya!
So much cheer and so much sadness in a lifetime. Glad you have hope.
That's a rough situation with your friend! I don't know how I'd handle it.
Good luck with full time TTC!
Isn't is strange to actually sit down and think about all the events in your life over a certain time period?
How ironic that you want so desperately to be a mom and your friend isn't sure about her pregnancy. I hope and that if she decides to be a parent to the child that she will be a good one. There are too many little ones out there that have very little parenting and it is so sad.
Thanks for stopping by my blog. Congrats on getting through your defense! I'm sorry you're still TTC and that you're dealing with the shock of your friend's pregnancy. Keep up the great attitude, and good luck.
Oi minha amiguinha...
Faz tempo que nao apareco neh??
Tenho andado em mudancas, minha vida ta um caos, rs. Nada de baby tbem... e a sombra da infertilidade me assusta... ai, nao to preparada pra isso...
Bom, eu to sem net ainda, estou num amigo e senti saudades... passei pra te deixar um abraco apertado, um parabens bem grandao pela sua aprovacao, e desejar forcas pra continuar... cada mes eh um mes, nao desiste nao!!!!
Super beijo
Thanks for your comment on my blog. I'll fill you in on the details of my detox IF it works! Forever positive aren't I!
I'm sorry your list has so many events passing whilst you are still trying for a baby. I'm just about to write a post on a similar topic. I get how it feels and it's so hard.
As for your friend and her pregnancy, gosh, I think you're amazing if you can manage to support her in such circumstances. I wish I was as strong. I'm afraid I just withdraw myself from those who are pregnant (including a close friend who is now 6.5 mths preg and I've only seen once when I bumped into her in a supermarket) I'm not proud of treating people this way but ultimately I have to protect myself.
Anyway I'm glad I've dropped in and I'll be back to see how things are going.
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