and I felt my spirit break...
They say it takes a village to raise a child....Oh God , I hope they are wrong because I am alone on that quest for now on.
1 year ago on the 29th I lost my grandfather, today one year later I lost the dream of the family I've waited for long to have. I can't possibly put into words the pain and the fear I feel right now. I have have so many decisions do make and this weight on my shoulders just keeps on the ground. I try to close my eyes and imagine what to do and my heart sinks to the floor. I can't say I did not see it coming, but the timing of it all just puts a special touch. 2008, the year that I was on the of the world and the year I reached the button. I loved him with all I had, I believed on the forever, I believed on the foundation of family, I believed in romantic love... I still do, but its just no longer my reality. I pray for wisdom and strength . I can do this, I will find happiness eventually. I feel I've failed her , but God knows I tried ,I tried with all I had but I failed her. She deserves better, much better . I have to put myself together for our sake, but for tonight I'll cry. ,
20 comments:
I'm so sorry!! You did not fail her! she is surrounded by so much love! I can see it just in pictures! Can't imagine what it's like in person!! Big cyber hugs!! xoxo
Do not think for a second that you are hurting your beautiful girl. You are doing what you can and what you both need. You are strong, and an amazing mother, and we're all here for you.
Cibele...I know your heart is broken right now but I promise you, it will heal. You have a beautiful daughter that loves you and will continue to do so as she grows. It is better to hold your head up and love her with all of your heart than feel you have let her down. You have not. This was not a decision you made.
The best thing you can do for Lyla is to show her a mom that is strong, confident and happy. Children learn from our actions more than our words.
You will be fine. Give yourself time to heal and you will be fine.
You did not fail her at all. Prayers for you both.
Oh Cibele. I was so hoping that it would work out with him. But, on top of everything, the holidays are barely over--and he does it now? I am so sorry.
Do not blame yourself or worry about how you are doing with Lyla. It is so obvious that in a lot of ways, you have been Lyla's main source for love and care for quite some time. You are a great mother and this is not going to change that. I hope you have some friends who can help you during this time--but just to let you know, we are here for you in spirit. [HUGS]
If you would like to e-mail me or talk to me, I am can be there for you.
Oh, Cibele, I wish we were closer! We're both going through a tough time right now and hopefully with the new year great things will happen for us and our babies.
You did not fail your little girl!
Let me know if you need anything!
Cibele! O Cibele, You did not fail Lyla at all. You are an amazing mother. I have seen pictures. She is one happy, loved little girl. You just hold on tight
I just wanted to give you a hug. You're doing the right things for yourself and Lyla. You are a strong woman - and you're gonna make it through!
You didn't fail her, he did!
You tried and tried and tried. That is anything but failure. Please let me know if there is anything I can do. I will be praying for you.
I'm so sorry. It's going to be a challenge, but you are more than strong enough to get through. You're an amazing mom, never forget that!!
You have held on a lot longer than a lot of people would. You did not fail your little girl. You are a strong person and as long as she feels safe and loved, her world will be ok. My ex husband left me right after the holdays in early Jan, 10 years ago. I remember sobbing for days feeling like my world was over, and in a way it was. But over time you just get used to a new world. Things will be good again, just different. I'm remarried now (6 years). While I wish my children could have grown up with both parents, I know that I did the best that I could, as you have too. There is a light at the end of the tunnel even if sometimes it seems so far away. Praying for you!
So sorry to read that you're hurting...my heart goes out to you and Lyla. You are doing an amazing job with her, stay strong!
Oh Cibele! You have not failed Lyla at all. She knows how much you love her and that love will be more than enough to get you both through anything.
Thinking of you.
I'm so sorry to hear that, Cibele. I think you are doing the best you can for Lyla and I know she will think the world of you for all the effort you put into trying to make this work.
Oh this is just so unfair. I am sorry that you are going through all of this right now. Lyla is one very lucky girl to have you as her mother, and you are doing a wonderful job. Thinking of you...
Here form L&F. I am so very sorry. As the child of divorced parents I can tell you that I never once ever felt that my mother failed me. Watching her bravely face her challenges taught me how to be a graceful woman of strength. I have only read a bit of your blog but I already know you are a great Mom and your daughter is lucky to have you. Hugs to you and a prayer for your family.
Just a hug.
Bea
Here from LFCA...came to know that you and your hubby are splitting.
I am so sorry. I hope that you are able to find and regain your emotional strength. Good Luck!
Here from L&F and just wanted to send my support. I know there is nothing I can say to take away your pain right now but know there are people out here thinking of you. Wishing you all the strength you need to get through this time.
Cibele, I have been terribly behind in my blog reading, so I am just seeing this. I am so sorry. Do not blame yourself. You are a wonderful woman and mom. I am here for you if you need me.
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