You know sometimes I feel that I am in a race and I am loosing very badly. When I started trying most of my friends were not even ready to have babies, some of them were not even married... and the months went by and one by one joined the race and each of them manage to finish it before me, some of them did not know they were in the running... I am tired of running, I am tired of putting on a brave face every time another one of my friends “win the grand price”... I am tired of crying when nobody is watching, tired of pretending that I don’t care. It hurts and every time I hear the news “I AM PREGNANT” it feels like an extra load was added on to my shoulders, making "running" that much more difficult. I know that it is not a race, I know…. But I feel left behind anyway.
I just got an IM from a friend, guess what??? she is pregnant... In the past it use to think:" Great, we can be PG together"... and than they go about their healthy pregnancies (Thank God), have the babies, some get pregnant again (SIL) and I am still running the race… I am exhausted
I know I’ll get there someday and I hope that when I get there you will be all there with me.
************************************************
UPDATE
yesterdayI cried because my friend told me she was PG, but today I CRIED of happiness when I found that that Somewhat Ordinary Live got a BFP !!!!! I am also very excited for Kate http://kyfti.blogspot.com/ and "hopeful to hateful in 28 days" http://hopefultohatefulin28days.blogspot.com/ they also got BFP recently! How exciting
I am so happy for you all!!!!!!!! MY HOPE FOR YOU IS FOR A SMOOTH AND HEALTHY PREGNANCY, you deserve it! CONGRATULATIONSSSSSSSSSS
10 comments:
I know how hard it is to be beaten at the non-race. I feel beat down too.
I hope your time comes very soon, and I will certainly be here with you :)
To say that I know EXACTLY how you feel is an understatement. You've just summed up life in my head every minute of every day.
It simply HAS to get better soon, or we will implode. I guess in the meantime, we'll just remain dog-tired from all the running, pretending, crying and hurting. But I'll also pray like crazy for babies all around.
I'll be thinking about you, and will most definitely be there when your time comes.
I remember vividly a "friend" telling me she was pregnant when I was literally on my way home from the hospital from my second miscarriage. She knew where I had been and why yet she went on and on about how she was going to get fat again (it was her third) and whining about water weight and the entire time I felt contractions from the drugs they had given me to help the miscarriage along. I felt like it was all a dream because it was just too horrible to be true. I ran that race for so many years and it is exhausting!The only thing I can tell you is that someday you WILL cross the finish line with the ultimate prize in your arms.
I know this feeling all too well. I have a friend who has gotten engaged married and had two kids since we started trying. She is now thinking about her third.
*Sigh*
That all sounds so familiar to me!
Hope we both get to move on to the next leg of the race soon!
Oh Hun- Hug. Hold on to hope and faith!! They don't always comfort me at first, but they seem to come around when i need them both! I am thinking of you in this time of IF FUnk
I know how hard it is to hear the PG news from all around you. IF is so unfair.
Hang in there. I am thinking about you.
My sentiments exactly... I feel I'm in a race and everyone else is bypassing me! It's so frustrating and tiring too.
The annoncements are so difficult. I don't think anyone could possibly imagine how much if they hadn't walked in IF shoes.
But it's not a race, There's no prize for crossing first. You'll cross the line one day, I hope soon. Keep your eye on the line, not the backs of others.
Take care x
Thank you so much for your well wishes-it means the world to me to have the support of this community. You are an amazing woman and will be an amzing mother one day!
Post a Comment