This week I had my first visit to the L&D. As you may have noticed I have some issues with Lyla not being very active. In that past weeks she the most active she has ever been. I actually got to see my belly moving and taking weird shapes form her moving around. I got use to the our morning ritual: after breakfast she would be very active and I would sit on the sofa before leaving to work and enjoy her morning acrobatics. Last Tuesday however, I woke up and did not feel her move at all, I drank juice… waited for 30 minutes, than 40 minutes and nothing. As usual I panicked, and called my doctor. I could not remember the last time I felt her move. DH was out of town, I called a friend o go with and I could not get a hold of her. So I went by myself… I was so scared. Thank God as soon I a parked my car and entered L&D I felt a kick… and than another, and other… she woke up late I guess. Poor girl, I don’t even let her sleep in. Since I was there I did the NST. I must say that I loved my hospital (it was my first time there). The nurse hooked me to the monitor and left me there… I heard her heartbeat for an entire hour, I was so soothing to her little heart . I could listen to it for hours and hours. Again I feel stupid for freaking out, but I rather be safe than sorry.
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Tomorrow I’ll be 33 weeks. I can’t believe it. I am super excited, but as my due date is fast approaching and I am dealing with some anxiety regarding some issues:
1- Even though I already have everything that the baby will need, nothing is on place. Looks like Babies R Us exploded in the middle of my living room. Dh and I have been crazy busy, working crazy hours, including weekends. As a result we haven’t had time to do anything. We have space issues so we have to be creative. DH is vacating the second room. He has so much stuff!!!!!!!!!! We will have to rent some storage space for his drums and music equipment. I am so anxious to start putting things together, to see things taking shape!!! DH promised that next week will take 2 days off and get this done. .
2- I am also having some body image issues. I am huge and I start to swell up like a balloon. My nose is huge and stretch marks have finally appeared on their full glory. I am not complaining but it is weird to see your body changing so dramatically.
3- . I am afraid that I will not be able to breastfeed or give birth to my daughter. Baby is still breached (I know, she has time), and I am scared of needing to do a C-section just because I only have 4 weeks of maternity leave. On the breastfeed front , my boobs and I always have a bad relationship. I have very small (.)(.) and they made me very self conscious throughout all my life. To top it off they did not get much bigger during the pregnancy. I am still using the same pre pregnancy bra. I am afraid that because my small size I will not be able to produce milk. I am also not comfortable having them being the center of the attentions…I have to get over this to be able to breastfeed
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I am so excited with also the babies being born and the ones that are about to come: Amy, Serenity, Caro, Bellybug …. So many of us are so close! Soon it will be raining babies here!
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I still think about all of you still TTC. I dream about the day that will read about your BFP. I pray that it can be soon and that the pregnancies progress well . No more pain, no more heartbreak…. Love you all! Thanks for still visiting me. I know that is not easy to read my silly complains when all you want is to be pregnant. Sorry if I have ever offended any of you. I will never forget the place I came from.
11 comments:
I'm so glad to hear your little girl is kicking away and doing well. :) I hope the anxiety soon subsides.
In my experience small breasted women are able to breastfeed just as well as (often easier than) large breasted women. As far as your breasts being the centre of attention - breastfeed in private until you have the technique. You will be fine I'm sure, just try not to stress about it.
You're not stupid and your right to be safer than sorry! I get "stupid" every day but I have a doppler to soothe my fears or my hands to prod him :)
X
Glad everything was ok.
I'm glad to hear that your little girl is fine.
And all the anxiety/worries? You're not alone. It's all going to work out. Just take it a day at a time.
xxx
You're stupid for thinking you're stupid :) Glad you had a good NST and got to hear that lil girls heartbeat- nothing beats that feeling and NOTHING beats that reassurance that everything is ok!
Dont sweat the boobies- I had reduction surgery and I produce milk. I'm sure its not the normal ton that I'm supposed to, but I pump and get some and whaterver I get goes to Swimmy. So you give it a shot- your body will amaze you with what it can go! And don't fear a section...anything to bring that baby into your arms healthy is the way to go! But your apprehensions are natural and I just hope and pray that when your time comes, it's just perfect. Just damn perfect :)
Small breasts are fine for giving milk--it will work out a-okay.
Hang in there--its almost time!
Nonsense! You look absolutely wonderful in every picture!
I love the name Lyla! I hope she keeps doing well!
Better safe than sorry.
As for the feeding and the C-section - I guess all you can do is try to take it one step at a time. *Most* people (this is what I'm trying to tell myself) manage to breastfeed, even if most people do find it very difficult at first - that seems normal. Your size has nothing to do with it, but then you probably know that! Hard to shake the paranoia.
Bea
Oi Ci - eu acho que amamentar e um caso de "size doesn't matter". Eu tenho amigas que sao tem peito minusculo mas elas amamentaram os seus nenens por meses e meses (o meu tambem e pequeno super e eu estava um pouco preocupada). Vai dar tudo certo - da pra acreditar que a gente so tem 7 semanas pela frente? Eu e o John arrumamos o quartinho da nenem em 2 dias, rapidinho, nao se preocupa nao. Eu vou colocar fotos no meu blog - da uma passadinha la depois. Beijinhos, B~
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